Talking About Money In A Relationship
Finances are a big barrier in a relationship. Money is a very difficult topic to discuss unless you are extremely comfortable with the matter and your partner. Despite any of this, money is one of the main causes of arguments in a relationship. But, this is why being honest and open is so important. By this, we mean both sides have to make it clear on where their finances go and how they are being managed.
If you’re feeling like you could use some advice for topics to suggest when talking about money, here are some ideas…
When should you start talking about money?
If you are at the start of your relationship, it is likely that you will feel uncomfortable or not feel like it is necessary to talk about your finances. This is completely normal, couples starting off may not talk about finances for years. But, if your relationship is becoming more serious with the real world, maybe it is time to try talking about it. The best time is when their finances start to become intertwined with yours. Typically when you may begin living together. There is no set time frame which states you must begin a conversation of this topic, it is just for whenever you feel comfortable.
Talk about financial goals
Talking about your financial goals can create different routes in the conversation. Like, how you’re going to get there, what position you are in now etc. It could even create topics like debt, savings and their goals too. Any type of conversation revolving around money is a great way to start learning about your partner and their finances. Leading on from this, perhaps some of your goals are similar. This could even allow you to merge your finances in for certain aspects like holidays or moving house. Honesty is key when talking about your financial goals and path for the future. But, this does not mean you need to be overwhelming as everybody is in control of their own money.
Find out exactly what you need too
If the finances are bothering you but you do not feel comfortable asking the question you are wanting to, there are ways around this. As mentioned above talking about something brief and expanding on the conversation is a great way to find out what you need to. And also, great to find out information which may be useful for you and your partner later on.
Talking works both ways, when you’re talking your partner will be listening and when they’re talking you should be listening to them. It is at the heart of any good, stable relationship. Instead of arguing when something financially goes wrong, guiding each other when trying to fix the problem is the best way to go. This will eliminate room for any arguments or disagreements. If one of you has blown the budget and you find yourself short of money, there are plenty of temporary resolutions. For example, borrowing from others, using savings or even a personal loan. The end of the day, although money is important to pay for essentials, you should remember that your relationship is even more important.
For further help visit The Money Advice Service.